I am free! But I feel like Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption, who after being freed from prison didn't want to go out into the world. Over the last month I had built a fairly decent nest within the 2 metre radius of my bed, with my work stuff and art stuff in convenient (but cluttering) piles on all available surfaces. With a splint on my foot I was fairly remorseless when it came to being waited on hand and foot.
On Friday the doctor removed the splint and gave the go-ahead to start walking. The fracture line is disappearing and we expect for it to go away in two weeks' time, when I go do a follow up X-ray. The good doctor also drew a line on my toe with a ballpoint pen when I asked him where the exact fracture was. It is comforting to see. In any case, I can walk now and the world is my oyster. If I can get to it with the 1km/hour speed that I am moving now.
Yesterday I ventured out to the park and the usual 15-min walk became a 45-min one, navigating uneven sidewalks and road crossings. Along the way senior citizens breezed past me with their tongkats. Left foot, right foot - am I putting the exact amount of weight on the entire foot, distributed on the inner arch, outer foot, and the heel? Am I using my hip? How do people walk anyway? Every step needs to be taken with a certain amount of awareness because if I am not careful with the weight and the angle of the foot, I'll get some pins and needles, not very painful but annoying enough for me to want to avoid it.
The physical exertion itself is ok, I can do slow walking. It's rather the mental load, while trying to pay attention to the internal mechanics of the foot, and scanning the footpath ahead for hazardous pits, protruding roots or dead branches, and making sure that I'm crossing the roads with enough of lead time before the traffic lights turn green. The anxiety that comes when, invariably, a car has to wait for me to cross and I performatively take a slightly bigger stride which makes no difference in time spent but shows the driver that I am making an effort, please don't run me over fellow human being.
Anyway yes. Getting out of the house is a bit of a pain and staying at home doing hand stitching or blogging or playing with watercolours feels like a much more pleasant way of spending the weekend. So I cancelled lunch plans with my sister and am essentially going to spend the Sunday like how I've spent the past several Sundays, just loafing around and dabbling with random creative acts. Maybe venture out for dinner somewhere in the neighbourhood to practise walking for a bit.
No fomo. I am the master of my weekend and I am determined to enjoy it before the next week crashes in.
Today I will measure my dimensions, as the first step of making a sloper. A sloper is a 2D template of your body, which can then be used to draft and modify patterns for better fit. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, and now that I've amassed a bunch of resources, mainly Sanae Ishida's Sewing Love book and also her videos on Creative Bug, I think I am ready to at least take measurements.
The goal of this year (wow doesn't January feel like such a long time ago, and yet such a short time ago?) was to make fitting garments with the fabric that I have ready. Given that we've just stepped into Quarter 2 I should really get cracking.
Speaking of Quarter 2, time anxiety. Does anybody else have that? I have that constantly. Particularly this year, I feel that the year has had so many false starts that it's still the beginning of the year for me.
Of course there was Jan 1st, the official mark of the new year, but then Chinese New Year rolled around 3 weeks later. Then I was away in Chiang Mai until mid-February, and told myself that the year can start when I got back. Got back in due time, and started my engine work-wise and fitness-wise, until the toe fracture in end Feb flung a wrench in the works and I went into time and space freeze for a month.
It is now April 2nd. I am hobbling out of the house and into Quarter 2, and that is why everything feels intimidating and I am left way behind. And Hari Raya is coming up! How does anything get done in this country? With efficiency, no doubt.
Anyway, a bit of whinging aside, I am doing fine. I'll be able to get back to yoga and other fitness activities in a week or two, when I regain flexibility in my right toes. I've taken a picture of the line on my toe that the doctor made - very important for reasons I don't understand - and I have been making friends with my right foot again, massaging it, using it, welcoming it back to the family after a month of estrangement.
Have a haiku in the title. I'll get on with my day now.