Weekly Blog 6 - Automating dating

— 3 minute read

Announcing a 2-month hiatus on this blog because I will be away on leave, and after that away again on training. The work madness will probably be intense when I’m back, anticipating a huge backlog, but I will try to resume regular blogging when I get back to my keyboard. Here’s to honouring arbitrary commitments set in the past!

Continuing last week’s contemplation on the importance of the process and not the outcome, I have been thinking this week that we seem to be quite intent on shortcutting and automating the meaning out of everything. Case in point: we are now in the era where dating apps are building AI “dating concierges” can do your dating for you, with other people’s dating concierges, presumably simulating an actual romantic exchange so that you can cut straight to the -

Cut straight to what, really? I mean, I have heard enough of horror stories about dating these days to not envy those in the available pool trying to find a real connection. But would AI solve this problem by automating the process away? I recall my twenties, wrestling with insecurities, mind games and loneliness in turns - definitely not a process that I would like to repeat. But would I wish it all away?

The number of failures (some unremarkable, some spectacular) that I had to expose myself to allowed me to learn about myself and eventually find the partner good for me. I don’t know what a dating concierge would find me - probably the type of people who use dating concierges? Doesn’t sound like a promising pool to me. At the very least I’m pretty sure Leo would never use one, so we would never have met.

Relationships take work. Dating apps had already made it obscenely convenient by swiping left and right, and look where that brought us. To the point where we’d need dating concierges to deal with all the non-choices, non-choices because we never took the trouble to see people as people (they are just faces and bodies, pretty or ugly) and therefore it’s hard to form a connection to begin with.

Convenience is great. As much as the next person, I love being able to get what I need, when I need it, where I need it. But I do have an uneasy feeling that shortcuts are not the answer to life. Where are we rushing to? With the time saved, what do we become? Probably a flatter version of ourselves? Is it worthwhile?

Before I go I want to record here that I inherited a vintage sewing machine yesterday, the type that comes with a table and is mechanically foot-pedal operated. It will need to be fixed and I'll need to wait till the dust settles in July before I can do that, but it's ok. Looking forward to have it up and running!